Monday, April 8, 2013

Childhood guilt.

      She began to feel estranged from everyone. Her days were spent in a haze. She wasn't quite sure how she managed to get through the bore of the day. Boxed between four walls her body was always trapped. She sits in a quiet room as she begins to reminisce on her childhood: A small girl with summer shoes carelessly stomping on bumblebees that flew low just because she realized she could. Slipping her friend's Hilary Duff CD into her backpack just because she could get away with it. Finding her teenage hands and realizing she was still inside the same four walls, she tried to accept the fact that she had been rightfully imprisoned. Later that evening, eyes filled will love tried to make her feel beautiful again. She pretended to believe him but her memories wouldn't let her. A little girl's mother vomiting in the kitchen trashcan. The forced isolation.. It makes sense that she would later recreate that isolation. A pattern that plagues her right up to now.